Saturday, December 09, 2006

day 6





*original logo from http://www.nbc.com/Deal_or_No_Deal/*


Day 5 answer: Dove



Day 6: Holidays are the best days.

day 5





*original logo from http://www.nbc.com/Deal_or_No_Deal/*


Day 4 answer: No Dove
I am so good at fooling you!



Day 5: Promise yourself some relaxing holiday moments.

day 4





*original logo from http://www.nbc.com/Deal_or_No_Deal/*


Should I just give the prize package to Kim? She seems to be the only one that's serious about taking a shot at it. Oh wait, you have other things to do besides just read and respond to my blog? Interesting....


Day 3 answer: No Dove ha ha! gotcha suckaz!



Day 4: It is in giving we get the best gift.

day 3





*original logo from http://www.nbc.com/Deal_or_No_Deal/*


Day 2 answer: Sadly, No Dove



Day 3: Treat everyday as a new day.

day 2





*original logo from http://www.nbc.com/Deal_or_No_Deal/*


Day 1 answer: Dove




Day 2: Hey Santa! Do you like Gumbo?

NEW GAME!!!





*original logo from http://www.nbc.com/Deal_or_No_Deal/*

So, I've decided to play a little holiday game. Starting December 10 and (hopefully) everday until Christmas Day, I will post a new comment. It is your job as my faithful readers, to leave a comment on my blog as to whether or not you think my comment of the day is from a Dove chocolate wrapper or a quote from somewhere/one else (a.k.a. no Dove). Respond with "Dove" or "No Dove" each day, and come back to my blog the following day to read the previous day's answer and see that day's new comment. After Christmas Day is finished, I will tally each reader's score, and the winner will win a fabulous prize package worth an undisclosed amount of money. Ready, set, GO!!


Day 1: Friendship is a gift in itself.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

ham + jesus + taurus = ghetto

1. by popular demand, i shall speak of the "ham" story. a couple sunday's ago i went to cracker barrel with kim and chad after church (insert shortened side note that my boyfriend forgot i got out of church at 10:30 instead of the usual noon-ish and also forgot to tell me that he wanted to take me to lunch instead of me going to cracker barrel until after i was already at the c.b., but whatever). i was really in the mood for breakfast food though, so we waited patiently for 40 minutes or so among the fake but freakishly real looking apple pie candles, kitchen utensils, holiday decor, figurines, and tractor memorabilia until we got our table. note to yourself, i delight in breakfast food, but i decided to just get something small as i was to adventure into the exciting world of chili's with the boy who really wasn't taking me out to eat as much as taking me along with him for a free meal via the youth pastor at his church but again i say, whatever. so, i ordered an orange juice and a ham biscuit (which costed a total of $5 max). the phones and texts were a ringing because of the confusion that exists among males and females and their communication dysfunctions, i mean, differences, and kim and chad were just along for the ride. however, we all had no idea how much of a ride we were in store for until this arrived. okay, so maybe it wasn't a whole half of a ham, but the slice was mammoth and the ham bone was smiling up at me. in my utter confusion i asked if they gave me the right thing, and the man brought out 3 biscuits. still perplexed, after asking a second time, i got one of these or at least the $2.50 version. i ate quickly and got out of there, but it was an out of body experience that i suppose you had to be there for to thoroughly appreciate it.

2. jesus backed into my car as i was leaving the wendy's parking lot on my way home for thanksgiving. i assumed it was pronounced like "hey-suess" but his brother called me regarding the accident and said it was in fact jesus. who knew? i'm glad that jesus has insurance which will cover the damages. jesus saves. me money...


3. the rental car i was given while my car is in for repairs is a 2007 ford taurus fully equipped with great things like a steering wheel, gas and brake pedals, windshield wipers, and a glorious tape deck. who makes a brand new 2007 car that does not have a cd player come standard? who but the lovely owners of 1988 dodge minivans still predominately listen to cassettes? who throws a shoe? honestly!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

This one's for Chad...and apparently Iggy

This post was for Chad originally, and now....Igford. Chad had told me on more than one occasion that he continued to check my blog daily, even though I haven't posted since August. That's faithfulness ladies and gentlemen, or well, gentleman, or now gentlemen. I'm confused.

ANYWAY, for my first re-entry back into blogophere, I'll give a brief explanation of my current state of being. I now have a boyfriend, and he's wonderful. I still work at the same school I worked at last year. I also currently have strep throat, and am off work for a week per doctor's orders. Thus, while I'm making my re-entry.

This being said, I have a few things that I've come across recently that I'd like to share with my peeps, or peep:

1. Sarah (my roommate) has a new favorite conversation. My boyfriend Thomas (who's Hispanic and has a different sense of humor than me) asks Sarah, "Sarah, have you seen White Chicks?" Sarah laughs every time she thinks about it. She has not seen it by the way, though Thomas recommends it to her, along with Little Man, which I succumbed to watching this weekend.

2. Two words: Jumping James. I have watched "The Price is Right" this week two times, and was introduced to Jumping James this morning. This pretty obviously gay man named James (I assume his sexual orientation because of his voice, he excessive jumping, the drama which he expressed, and the fact that he was with a group of about 20 girls, no other men) lost a car but picked up $1000, and later won his showcase showdown, which involved a car, and crystal candlesticks (which he showed interest in despite the fact that the men in the audience were booing). Congrats James - you go use those candlesticks as you cook dinner for you and your 20 women "just" friends.

3. Onto another J. "You go Joe!" That is, judge Joe Brown. I watched a couple of fascinating cases this morning. The first of which was a case where a woman was asking for money from her ex-boyfriend, and demanding that he erase or destroy a sex video he made that included her. The man's response (because she was only featured in 1 of 5 films apparently in succession) was, "Say you were watching Star Wars or something. Who wants to watch films 1 through 3 and skip number 4?" Very similar arguments I think. The second case was not a case really. The plaintiff was a web designer that obviously had his stuff together because he investigated and presented evidence against the defendant by way of pictures, finding his car emblem under his destroyed fence, finding him on myspace which had evidence, showing google aerial views of the scene, and providing a modest detailed assessment of the costs of repairing his destroyed fence and yard, etc. The defendant had absolutely no case first of all, was ironically a carpenter himself, and the best part of it was that judge Joe actually used a British accent on more than one occasion as a result of him being impressed with the investigatory journalism of the plaintiff. There's a t-shirt mentioned in the movie "When Harry Met Sally" that says, "Don't F#$% with Mr. Zero." My word is don't f#$% with a web designer's fence. It will always end up badly.

4. Oh ya, strep throat sucks. I recommend not getting it. It's much better that way, even though I've obviously been highly entertained by the educational programming I've digested this morning, as well as the exclusively low budg commercials that accompany it. It's rare times like these that I need cable. Woot Woot!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

And Then There Were 3

Kim, Doug, and Igford are the only people that post comments on my blog, and who am I kidding - one of the three isn't even a real person, and all of them are probably the only beings that read my posts anyhow.

Next post will just be a long list of expletives for my sort of three friends to enjoy. That will show everyone else what they're missing out on.

Note to reader: for a small fee, I can also mention your name on this blog. Heck - you never know who could google your name and find you via that sweet hit.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Customer Service

It's interesting what you encounter when you're being served by others - here are a few stories that aren't necessarily groundbreaking, but true none-the-less:

1. My family rarely ate fast food when I was growing up (partially because we were home cooking small town people with limited options, and in part because I was a picky eater growing up and back then, fast food was not known for being fast when it came to "special" orders like mine - pre "have it your way" phase you could say). This being said, my sister, mom, and I were on our way to meet up with my grandpa and were running a little late, so we stopped at Braums for breakfast. We order through the drive through what typical fast food breakfasts are: sausage biscuits, bacon, egg and cheese biscuits, (or in my case back then) a plain biscuit with jelly because I didn't like eggs. The person in the drive through rings up our order, we drive to the window, pay, and the lady tells us it will be just a minute before our food's ready. Just a minute ended up being 15 minutes, after which the lady pops her head back out and informs us that they "don't have any biscuits" and could we please order something else. Aren't biscuits for breakfast sort of a fast food staple? Needless to say, our quick breakfast stop made us later than if we had eaten at home. ***note: this does not reflect poorly on all Braums restaurants in general - they're a great place to get ice cream and milk and other than the one in Wellington, KS, should not be looked down upon***

2. I've recently been renting movies from the Hollywood Video on Johnson Drive (NOT the Blockbuster next door to it thank you very much - punks wanted to charge me $18 for two movies that were overdue by a couple of days and I refused to pay that much money in late charges so I never went back, even when I could afford it and even though it happened over 5 years ago now; who's counting - can I get an AMEN?!) Anyway, there's this guy that works there that's quite honestly the most zealous movie store worker I've ever encountered (I've had two encounters with him that I can remember). First, this guy says an enthusiastic hello to everyone that walks in (which at first you're thinking, this is kind of a polite surprise). Then, while the customers are browsing through the selection, loud enough for the whole store to hear, he informs his coworker "WE GOT A 'Benchwarmers' IN!" to which she replies in a much more normal speaking level, "uh, thanks for letting me know?" Later, he answers the phone in an "accounts payable Nina speaking, just a moment" meets James Earl Jones as a movie announcer like voice that I didn't know existed in reality. When it comes check-out time, I've seen/heard him go into a 5 minute rivoting account about how much he thinks "In Her Shoes" is a good movie even for a chick flick, which really guys would like too and what's really amazing is that Cameron Diaz is really like 40-years-old but plays a 17-year-old in the movie and how I'm going to love it. I did really like the movie actually, though his Diaz age reference was completely false by the way, because she's at least playing a 28-year-old in the movie - it starts out with her going to her 10 year high school reunion, but whatever. The last time I was there, he proceeded to tell me that he was in a very good mood and that very few things rarely ever keep him from being upbeat and perky, with the exception being a few girls from his past, and perhaps his coworker who he asks to answer the phone as he's ringing my movies up and informing me that if she would just get off the phone with her "boo" she may be able to get some work done. FYI - this guy's maybe 20, white, and an average Johnson county-an I can assume, so why he uses "boo" as if it's common terminology for him, I'll probably never know. Thanks for the memories dude.

3. So, I went to Popeye's chicken, which has fabulous spicy chicken and wonderful cajun mashed potatoes if you're into that sort of thing, which I was this evening. So, I pull up to the drive in and order a number 3 combo with spicy chicken, a Diet Pepsi (no coke products-the main drawback to this place), with my sides of mashed potatoes and corn. This is how the conversation plays out with the lady at the drive thru:
"We no longer serve corn (3 second pause). Green beans, or macaroni and cheese."

(me, thinking that "green beans and mac/cheese" was a question and those were my other choices) "Oh, well I'll have green beans then."

"No. We no longer serve corn, green beans, or macaroni and cheese."

"Oh, I'm sorry - I misunderstood, so what are my other choices for sides then?"

"You only get one side with that combo anyway."

Why she couldn't have told me that from the beginning, I'll never know. Luckily after my 10 minute wait (not so much fast food here either), there was a very kind man working the drive thru who apologized for the wait and sent me on my way. Another favorite part of the experience: the sign that read "No Tax Weekend Special (but you have to pay tax on it)." Oxymoron or just moron? I'm still not sure yet....

Friday, July 21, 2006

But one of these people is having the best week ever….

(second grader, extremely smart and hilarious who henceforth shall be referred to as "He”): I liked this girl Tamia but I didn’t really want to tell my friends because they wouldn’t get it, and plus she doesn’t go to school here anymore. I liked three girls when I was in first grade, but it was just too much drama.

Me: Too much drama, huh?

He: Ya, this is like a soap opera school really.

Me: (laughing) It is, huh?

He: Ya, I found out this one girl liked me but she went Young and the Restless on me.

Me: (still laughing) Really. What do you mean by that?

He: Do you watch Young and the Restless ever?

Me: I've seen it before, but I don’t watch soap operas.

He: Well, my mom LOVES Young and the Restless. Anyway, see this girl said she wasn’t gonna waste her time liking me when I liked another girl.

Me: That makes sense I guess. You crack me up.

He: I try.

(later in the conversation I mention again that he makes me laugh)

He: I’m doing the best I can here, but I’ve already used the “Young and the Restless” line on ya, and I’m running out of material. I need some new lines.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

the elements as they say are coming together, sir.

i pine, i plead, i parish. we all miss the days of 'yore (and i'm not refering to the time where apothecary tables reigned - think "friends") but rather the days of that tgif classic, full house. america's sweetheart jodie sweetin (the famed stephanie tanner) has gotten herself into a bit of a pickle since the show as tiffany so elequently pointed out here among other things, and if that weren't enough, it appears that the days of singing "i saw the sign" with gia and kimmy in the band are in fact dead and over. tying in with igford's (or doug's - i can't remember which) blog post here however, the beloved jodie sweetin appears to be making a "comeback" of sorts, although i don't know that her latest gig is anyone's dream job, since i bargain to say that some of you probably have had nightmares less gruesome.

the kc star tipped me off last week to not-so-sweetin's latest gig hosting the fuse network's second season of "pants off dance off" (starting july 18) in which people will be "dancing to a video in the background while undressing to their underwear." at your own risk/discretion, visit the website and join with me in thinking that being on what tv guide claimed to be "the dumbest show on t.v." is NOT a "comeback." that's got to be something you do on your way out of stardome, not on your way back in. danny tanner, where's your intervention now when she REALLY needs you? seriously.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

TYOAA



The Year of Adult Adoption.

Tiffany and I both agree it would be a great political platform for someone.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Death Metal

beware of dumplings. especially ones that have an unusally shiny glow about them.

read here

Monday, May 22, 2006

the birth of cool

i feel like a complete stud today. now, for a limited time only (i can only assume) i am among the top 8 myspace friends of one of my favorite bands, the waybacks. visit HERE to see the gloriousness that is me being among some very cool people on the internet. also check out their music because if not for that (and the walnut valley festival in winfield) i would not be who or where i am today. their new album and their live album are fabulous. thanks be to God, alleluia, alleluia.

also, ask my roommates about my fabulous talents clapping moths out of existence. i'm known now as the clapper tapper. and i'm coming to a bedroom near you. no "wink wink" intended.

Friday, May 19, 2006

sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

that's a line stolen from the song "all at once" by the fray. it's a fabulous line and all too true of my current state of heart/mind. it's interesting how obedience to God in tough situations can be so freeing and set so heartbreaking at the same time. He never said the cost of following Him would be easy though. getting just a taste of the wonderful things He has in store for your future and then having to give it up to follow Him is just one of those twists in life that you hope you never have to do, but inevitably have to face. His promise is amazing - i know that He loves to give good gifts to His children and that life in His truth is the only life worth living, but that doesn't make hard times any easier. "the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. when a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." His kingdom is worth my everything and i shall leave all i have to find Him and bring Him glory.

Friday, May 12, 2006

"Hey there cute."

(I put on my sunglasses, assuming the guy in the car next to me is just talking on his cell phone)

"Hey beautiful. You lookin' cute girl." (he's talking to me)

"Uh, hey."

"Where's he at?"

"What?" (very confused look)

"Where's your husband at?"

"I don't have a husband."

"That's too bad. You need to find yourself a husband."

"Thanks for the advice."

"I'm looking for a wife. You interested?"

(I push on the gas as the light conveniently turns green, and I roll up my window)


Thanks to the 75th street and 71 Highway stoplight for making this car window marriage proposal happen. The guy was driving a rather pimpin' red and white Suburban though....just my taste.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

the rhythm is gonna get ya

i must confess that a major reason for me posting this nonsense is just so that i don't have to look at the picture of the spider when i go to my blog page anymore. i'm not even freaked out about spiders that much, but for some reason, i just cringe every time i see that. and i make some sound like "blahthathathahthah" with my tongue.

so i was at price chopper last night, and couldn't help but think that i must have a blog confession about my grocery store tendencies. i'm not really sure why music affects me the way it does, but on more than one occasion, my shopping experiences have rendered smiles and giddy girl squeals of delight thanks to the completely random music mix intermixed with "clean up on aisle two" or "today at your neighborhood price chopper, notice our sales on canned spinach. it's only 89 cents with your price chopper shopper card and is a great investment to make for your family's health." i find myself singing out loud or at least humming, and when no one is watching, even shakin' my booty a little bit, not gonna lie.

last night was no exception. i mean, where can you hear "come on shake your body baby do that conga" (gloria estefan - what a latin genius for real) which both makes me want to trill my r's in everything i say, and also wear white shorts with an americana ribbon in my hair and dip my hands and body in paint, while doing jazz hands on stage in a beauty pageant. shortly after i left the mexican food section, i found myself joyfully walking 'round the store with a strategic swaying motion to the sounds of "la bamba" and then found myself "expressing myself" out loud in song when madonna's musical directions told me to do so. real cool. i almost got caught on a few occasions, but i don't think i really would've cared that much. i mean, i'm pretty much a self-control sort of girl, and who has the right to condemn me for throwing caution to the wind once and a while.



so, bottom line, watch out. the rhythm is gonna get ya, especially if you're in a grocery store with me. next time, i think i'll spend more time in the produce section creating an exotic fruit hat and piecing together a coconut bra before continuing on with my shalinn one woman show choir tactics. that way my singing and dancing will seem more like a normal thing to do.

Monday, April 17, 2006

spider, man.


so i received my first spider of the year this morning. no, i'm not refering to an annual award for being a spider, i'm just telling you that i saw a spider this morning. i was in the shower, he was on the ceiling, avoiding my general direction i might add, which i appreciated because if he had come close to being above my head, i probably would have called out explitives in the paranoia of the possibility that he would lose his little eight legged grip and plummet down on top of my wet head. he made his way out of my sight and ventured to the opposite end of the bathroom ceiling, which i found out after i was all squeaky clean. he stayed perfectly still in that corner until i went to leave, and i noticed him parading back across the ceiling towards the still damp shower area, with baton in hand pumping to the beats of "seventy-six trombones" so i can only assume he, like me is a "music man" fan.

i left, went to my room, checking the inside of my shoes for possible little guys before placing my feet in them, for i officially need to be careful that the baby mama has not spring, sprang, sprung her offspring inside the nooks and crannies in the dark places of my belongings. ah spring. new life, new creatures lurking around every corner. by the way, my "friend" was not to be found in the bathroom when i went back less than 10 minutes later. hiding? plotting his/her attack? i'll find out i'm sure.

oh, and i just thought i'd add that i've used the phrase "nooks and crannies" in not just this post, but also the last. it's apparently becoming a signature for me. nooks and crannies, out. oh, and stay classy igford.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

pressure cooker....geez

so apparently, i have some angry readers. i hadn't really noticed that i had been absent from the blog world for nearly a month, but work's been busy and i haven't had time or original thoughts ok? GET OFF MY BACK!

on a joyful note, Christ has risen! happy easter! he's got flowing hair now - much like that of fabio. why do people feel compelled to do this to the savior of the world? seriously....



now that the abrupt, awkward intro is over, i decided to post a few random "mother" musings to appease the two or three people that glance this way from time to time. time after time. thank you cindy lauper. these musings are i suppose of bewilderment, or bewilderbeast which is a pretty good album by "badly drawn boy" if you're into some experimental music, end scene.

i was driving home last week to oxford, kansas and viewing the big city's lights....wait, strike that, we don't even have any stoplights there....and was thinking how interesting my mother is. many of you that have encountered my mother or heard stories know what i refer to but here is a short list of facts. my mother is pretty obsessed with me getting married, or a least dating someone and then getting married and having babies because she doesn't want to be an "old grandma" but rather a hip, cool grandma. (she's also got this whole big plan about my parents living in a house with a pond behind it that has an island in the middle where my dad can build a fort and him and my children can paddle boat their way to the island, spend the night there and paddle boat back in the morning where my mom will have a big breakfast waiting for them.) anyway, we were discussing wedding showers because my cousin's getting married in may, and pretty much it came up that if i even went on a date with a guy, her and her co-workers would throw me a shower, no wedding necessary.

on my mother's mix cd of her favorite songs that she gave out to all of my immediate family members at Christmas, the song "mustang sally" is not just on there once, but twice.

so i'm moving in with sarah schultz in june and my mother was freaking out about the fact that i hadn't gone to look at sarah's house to fill out an inventory checklist of all of the nooks and crannies even though june is still a little ways away. this last week, she laughed in that "oh my goodness, i can't believe how irresponsible you are because you don't care about what i obsess about" way because i knew that sarah had a washer and drier but couldn't remember or didn't think to ask if she had a basement in her house. seriously. where are my priorities. oh ya, and my mom has asked me about the basement and washer/drier thing for probably a month now despite the fact that i keep giving her the same answer. who gives a rat's behind anyway? she constantly asks if sarah's house is south of I-70 too, and what her exact address is so my also obsessive aunt can drive by it to shoot out the windows, or to um, make sure it's in a safe neighborhood. who knew livin' in the 'dotte was going to be so traumatic for my family who's probably not even going to step foot inside the house except maybe once.



my mom is perhaps what's held me back from traveling by myself out of state or out of the country. trust me, she would be paranoid. i was driving from manhattan to kc on friday and she requested (on wednesday night) that i call her when i got back to kansas city so that she could know i got back okay. i'm 25 years old. cut the cord. i told her that that was ridiculous and that i wasn't going to call her. from now on, she could assume that no news was good news. i haven't talked to her since, so she probably thinks that i've moved north of I-70, am living with heathens and miscreants, listening to death metal while smokin' dope and doin' time with my deadbeat husband that i've neglected to tell her about. (see picture of my possible self in 20 years. really classy.)