ham + jesus + taurus = ghetto

1. by popular demand, i shall speak of the "ham" story. a couple sunday's ago i went to cracker barrel with kim and chad after church (insert shortened side note that my boyfriend forgot i got out of church at 10:30 instead of the usual noon-ish and also forgot to tell me that he wanted to take me to lunch instead of me going to cracker barrel until after i was already at the c.b., but whatever). i was really in the mood for breakfast food though, so we waited patiently for 40 minutes or so among the fake but freakishly real looking apple pie candles, kitchen utensils, holiday decor, figurines, and tractor memorabilia until we got our table. note to yourself, i delight in breakfast food, but i decided to just get something small as i was to adventure into the exciting world of chili's with the boy who really wasn't taking me out to eat as much as taking me along with him for a free meal via the youth pastor at his church but again i say, whatever. so, i ordered an orange juice and a ham biscuit (which costed a total of $5 max). the phones and texts were a ringing because of the confusion that exists among males and females and their communication dysfunctions, i mean, differences, and kim and chad were just along for the ride. however, we all had no idea how much of a ride we were in store for until this arrived. okay, so maybe it wasn't a whole half of a ham, but the slice was mammoth and the ham bone was smiling up at me. in my utter confusion i asked if they gave me the right thing, and the man brought out 3 biscuits. still perplexed, after asking a second time, i got one of these or at least the $2.50 version. i ate quickly and got out of there, but it was an out of body experience that i suppose you had to be there for to thoroughly appreciate it.

2. jesus backed into my car as i was leaving the wendy's parking lot on my way home for thanksgiving. i assumed it was pronounced like "hey-suess" but his brother called me regarding the accident and said it was in fact jesus. who knew? i'm glad that jesus has insurance which will cover the damages. jesus saves. me money...


3. the rental car i was given while my car is in for repairs is a 2007 ford taurus fully equipped with great things like a steering wheel, gas and brake pedals, windshield wipers, and a glorious tape deck. who makes a brand new 2007 car that does not have a cd player come standard? who but the lovely owners of 1988 dodge minivans still predominately listen to cassettes? who throws a shoe? honestly!