ephesus

so i know i said that i'd write real often - so sue me. actually, saying "so sue me" makes me sing that phil collins hit "sussudio." wow - it's been a long time since i pulled that one out. so, new things in my life - well, i did buy that camera, and i'm enjoying it very much, though with me being at a loss of a job for the next two+ months, i think i'll find it hard to want to develop many pictures since money unfortunately drives our society 'round, and rent and food and bills take precedent. i'm officially 23 now as of the first tuesday of june (a.k.a. the first day of june), and i've since determined, well, today actually, that God has much that He wants to teach me this summer. as a result of some jacob's well sermons, the Bible, and my current literary endeavor of "the great divorce" by c.s. lewis, i'm realizing that selfish struggles that i've tried to deal with may actually be examined at their root, worked through, and with the grace of Him who is far greater than I, banished from my thoughts and actions. i've often spoke about the spiritual warfare that i know surrounds and engulfs me, but i think that i've tried too often to fight without putting all my armor on, and often been deceived into thinking i could survive with just part of it. i've seen that i was wrong about that, and realize also as lewis says that, "you cannot take all luggage with you on all journeys; on one journey even your right hand and your right eye may be among the things you have to leave behind." i now find myself facing an uphill battle against the plots of satan but know that despite the armor that may fall off of me at times, "and He must win the battle."