one, little, big, giant thing

I'm a Speech-Language Pathologist and I work with kids.  I get to hear some pretty hilarious stuff on a daily basis as a result.  Today, I got to hear about why a girl's sister didn't get proposed to on NYE because she "passed out when she got home" that night.  Huh.  Informative.  I also got to listen to a young girl explain a trip she just took, which included "one, little, big, giant thing" (her words).  As funny as that phrase was, and how accurately it describes that young person, I realized that it was a pretty good description of how I blow things out of proportion.

I first came to understand that I worry excessively about time when I first lived in Thailand.  I went from working full-time to not having a job, being single to being married, and living in the U.S. to living abroad.  I had a lot of newness in my life, but the not-working part may have been the hardest part looking back.  After a while I would find myself panicking mid-day that I didn't have the house all clean or the groceries bought and I was afraid I wasn't going to have it done by the time Micah got home from work.  I honestly spent hours worrying when I either could've just done the work already or at least calmed down and realized that I had plenty of time.  I was trying to live up to imaginary expectations that I had set for myself and I was convinced I wasn't going to live up to them.  To top it all off, I was fine.  Every day.  I had plenty of time.  Every day.  And I would forget that.  Every day.

Fast forward to now, and I still forget.  I may not always have the anxiety I did then, but sometimes that one, little thing becomes and big, giant thing and I panic that I can't get everything done I need to do.  It was days like today that I'm reminded yet again that I will have enough time for what needs to happen today.  And tomorrow, and the next day.  I was worried that I wouldn't have enough time to get my house cleaned and food cooked for a friend to come over tomorrow night.  So, I cooked/prepared some food this morning before I left for work in a hurry.  When I was busy worrying (and working) today though, a commitment I thought I'd have tonight got switched to Thursday.  This gave me a whole night of time.  Plus, I found out I get to leave work a half-hour earlier than typical tomorrow.  Already more time for tomorrow too.

Speaking of tomorrow, I'm getting my hair cut during my break at work, and I get to start trying my hand at co-writing some of those songs I set a goal for (with said friend coming for dinner).  I may be really bad at this, but I've got to start somewhere.  And who knows?  Maybe this song will turn into one, little, big, giant thing.

My flowers from last week have died, but my dreams have not.  Intentionally :)  Of course, I was really bad at caring for those flowers.  Irises suck up water quickly - I had no idea.