everybody always tends to ask me about what i do for a living, and when i try and explain to them that i'm not a teacher even though i work at an elementary school, they just get confused. and when i try to explain what a language disorder is, i get blank stares.
this being said, however, i do feel obliged to share some of the crazy-ass school quotes i have because sometimes work stories are just plain funny. here are a few of the recent doozies.
1. my coworker/friend andrew stops me in the hall today and tells me that one of his students (normally developing mind you) wrote a song this morning called "i'm n luv wit a snicker" - and she wants to bite it, chew it... a brief time later i was walking back down the hall and heard one of his other students say to the rest of the class: "HAMMER TIME!" and start doing m.c.'s shuffle dance down the hallway. classic.
2. i have a student that often has trouble behaving like he's supposed to, and in turn often acts very silly, not to mention that he has a language delay and is difficult often times to understand. yesterday, he grabs his nipples and starts saying "look at my nipples" in an effort to make the other student with him laugh. in an honest effort to try and make the student realize that having nipples does not make him special (and therefore deserve attention), i say "everyone's got nipples - not just you." his eyes got huge as he peers up at me and says "you've got them too? BOOBIES!" needless to say i was mortified at the can of worms i opened up, but luckily it quickly resolved and i was able to divert the conversation to other places, besides body parts.
3. another student of mine has this thing with saying "talk to the hand" frequently. mind you, the word hand is actually pronounced with the "ah" sound as in the name hans. this student also told me he likes to do karate and kung fu with his cousin - apparently he likes mixing british pronunciations with oriental body movements. what a combo.
4. i had a little girl student look at a picture of a black bird feather the other day and ask me if it was a burnt hot dog.
5. if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. my student that mentioned nipples in the same session kept farting. he of course finds that really funny, and would say "i fart" to draw additional attention to the behavior. oh, and this student doesn't say his /r/ sound correctly all the time. by the end of the session, i just gave up, and started saying, "it's not faht - it's fart. use your /r/ sound."
2 comments:
shalinn...you have the best job ever! i can just see you laughing and laughing...nipple boy is priceless!
what is really awesome, is that some of these stories are DIRECT parallels to my students. "Wait, kim, what grade do you teach?" yeah....
this also reminded me of the first time I was observed by my k-state professor while I was student teaching (7th graders). Right as I started my lesson one of the kids farted really loud and you can bet they all handled that really responsibly. My professor was kind of mean anyways, and she definitely didn't give me a very good review for that day.
Post a Comment